Does a Poor Proposal Predict a Menaced Marriage?
I guess I’m writing this more for women who are expecting a marriage proposal shortly, but brides-to-be should pay attention, too. Did you happen to read the results of the survey conducted by Men’s Health magazine and TheKnot.com about marriage proposals? The survey discovered that one in four women hated her proposal. Really? There are unacceptable ways to propose marriage?
Not in my book! If you really love a guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, why on earth would you take exception with the way he proposes—unless he says something like, “I really don’t want to do this, but we’ve been together so long, I guess I have to. Here’s a ring.”?
My Perfect Marriage Proposal
We had talked briefly about getting married, but we hadn’t discussed a time frame. So there I was, up to my elbows in sudsy dishwater, finishing the last of the pots and pans used to create a wonderful Christmas eve dinner for the two of us. Suddenly, a hand holding a bright, shiny diamond hovered over the suds. Long story short, we both wound up sudsy and happy. I’m pretty sure this would fall under the category of the “Most Unromantic Marriage Proposals Ever”, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Simple. I had no expectations about how he would handle it. I just knew I wanted to marry him. He might not be the most romantic guy in the world, but he shows his love in so many other wonderful ways, it really doesn’t matter. And, as it turns out, I enjoy telling the story of our romance. We talked about getting married over Thanksgiving, he gave me the ring on Christmas eve, and we got married on Valentine’s Day. Even with a less-than-stellar proposal, we’re still happily married and going strong after many years!
Just Some Thoughts…
If you’re all about the proposal, go ahead and give him a few ideas, or at least atell him he needs to be creative. Obviously, three out of four guys are clueless about this sort of thing. But I caution you—he just might see your demand (no matter how sweetly you suggest it) as a harbinger of things to come in your marriage.
Or, you can choose to happily accept his proposal, regardless of whether it meets your standard, because a proposal is just the beginning. You can tell him how to do everything after you’re married.