I know I’m supposed to talk about weddings and marital happiness and stuff like that, but this is just too funny not to pass along.  We both know your marriage is going to make it, but the truth is more than half of all marriages in this country end in divorce, which is apparently turning out to be more fun than originally thought!

Divorce Planning 101

After all the grief that got these women into divorce court, they’ve had enough, and they’re clearly ready to celebrate their freedom. The party’s on–and professional cake bakers are making the dough! How do I know? Take a look at these divorce cakes. A couple are pretty gruesome, but I have to tip my hat to the divorcees’ creativity and the bakers’ artistry, and I’d love to be invited to one of these parties…

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It’s called the “Tell Your Story” wedding favor, and I have to give photographer Leah Jean credit for coming up with a distinctly unique favor idea! Here’s what it looks like:

There’s the little engagement-story book and a matching favor box to fill with chocolates or some other candy. You provide the story of “how you met, how he proposed and why you love each other,” along with three or four engagement photos, and you’ve got a favor that goes way beyond personalized. I love it! What do you think?

Presumably, you’ve picked the right guy. And you’ve dreamed every detail about your wedding since you were, what, about 12? Over the years, you’ve seen a multitude of possibilities in movies, television, books, magazines and weddings you’ve attended from which you’ve created a personal vision of your special day. Why look for inspiration anywhere else?

According to an ongoing survey of brides by top-tier favor designer Kate Aspen, more brides use their own personal vision for wedding-planning inspiration. Magazines came in second and the Internet is third, followed by “other” sources.

So what does this tell you? It tells me that the majority of brides have the utmost confidence in their ability to plan their perfect wedding. They don’t start from scratch. They go into it already knowing what they want and follow their own path down the aisle.

Yes, styles and trends change, but, unless you live under a rock somewhere in the remote wilderness with no electricity and no means of communication, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the changes practically as they happen.

I agree with those brides who use their personal vision as their wedding inspiration, and I’m sure you have one, too. And remember, it’s perfectly okay to change your mind. Just don’t change your personal vision—for anyone!

Today’s Bride on the Brink is just 25 days away from her stroll down the aisle, and it promises to be something to sea! Her groom is an active-duty naval officer in San Diego, so the wedding will have touches of Navy here and there. In fact, as an officer, he’ll be wearing his dress white uniform, and they’ll have six ROTC Navy swordsmen, not only ushering guests into the ceremony (including both moms,) but they’re also going to do a traditional sword arch the newlywed couple will walk through to enter the reception! How incredibly cool is that!

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NAME:  Nicole Garcia

LOCATION:  La Jolla, CA

DATE:  August 28 

THEME:  Beachy Military

COLORS:  Black, White, shades of blue and yellow

GUESTS:  About 50

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Q. Swords and sailors, huh? You and your guests should feel quite safe. Tell me about your ceremony! How long ago did you start planning?

A. We’ve been engaged for almost a year and a half. We’ve been planning since we hit the one-year-ahead mark and worked towards our goal little by little. The ceremony will be at Cuvier Park in La Jolla. It’s a small, grassy area overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Our theme has been a combination of beachy, casual, untraditional and military. Our bridesmaids will be in tea-length, black dresses with light-blue sashes. The wedding aisle will be covered with light-yellow and cream-colored flower petals. 

Q. Sounds lovely. You’re only days away from the big moment. What’s the most important thing on your mind right now?

A. Making sure we stay true to ourselves. More specifically, making sure we do things for the wedding that fit us and our personalities/style. This includes making sure we’re still having fun—both in the planning process and on the wedding day!

Q. Any stress at all?

A. I wasn’t stressed for the most part. When I started to feel it creep up, my fiance has been a great source of support. His sarcasm and sense of humor definitely shakes me out of my anxiety. (Take note, brides! If you don’t laugh about the bumps in the road to your wedding day, you’ll surely cry about them, so don’t take them so seriously! It all works out in the end. Ed.) So far [the most stressful part] has been planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. All my girls are either in different cities and states or are pregnant. It’s been a difficult process trying to get in contact with the girls and coordinate schedules. 

Q.  Other than your shower and bachelorette party, things seemed to have gone pretty smoothly. Did you use a wedding planner? Are your plans complete?

A. I wanted to hire a wedding planner for the whole process! Unfortunately, it was too expensive for us, but we did end up hiring a “day of” coordinator who has been wonderful in organizing our vendor contracts and staying in touch with us.  All of the big things to do are done. We’re just waiting to get more RSVP’s and phone calls from family and friends about the big day. 

Q. Did you forgo anything in your wedding planning because of the economy?

A. We both decided right away to have a small wedding. We didn’t want to have a big wedding with people that were merely acquaintances or long-lost friends who we haven’t kept in touch.  By cutting our guest list, we have saved a LOT of money. We also went through a lot of independent wedding vendors. We found our photographer on Craig’s List and contacted a small, independent florist referred to us by the Reverend. 

Q. Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything differently?

A. [We would have] made the wedding date sooner! I don’t think we realized how quickly and early we would get all our planning done.

Q. What’s been the most rewarding part of all this?

A. Getting closer to my fiance. We took our first dance the other night, and it was so exciting! Just being in his arms and looking into his eyes made me super-excited to be his wifey! Every so often I catch glimpses of him that make me realize how lucky I am to have such a supportive and caring husband-to-be. (NOTE: We think he’s pretty lucky to have found you, too! Ed.)

Q. Have you learned any life lessons from planning your wedding?

A. To be patient. No matter how quickly we plan the wedding day, it won’t come any sooner. Being anxious will only make you stress, which will affect your relationship.

Q.  So what advice would you give your friend who was planning her wedding?

A.  Do a LOT of research! (NOTE: That advice comes up a lot from our Brides On the Brink. There must be something to it! Ed.) You don’t have to settle for the first vendors you see. There are plenty of resources available to you if you put in a li’l elbow grease! It will save you money in the end! Oh, and be sure to have fun! You’re getting married! (Well said, Nicole! Ed.)

Watch for the next edition of Brides On the Brink…30 Days and Counting! It’s for brides, it’s about brides, and most importantly, it’s by Brides On the Brink who are one month away from walking down the aisle.

Become One of our Brides On The Brink!

If you’re about one, two or three months from tying the knot and would like to be a featured bride, please click here to e-mail your contact information and wedding date. I’ll send you the questionnaire to fill out and return. For passing on your wedding wisdom, featured brides will receive a $25 gift certificate* for MyWeddingFavors.com, where you’ll find fabulous wedding favors, wedding accessories, bridesmaids’ gifts and so much more!

* For shipping only within the US and Canada.

…as she walks down the aisle? No, this isn’t a caption contest, although if it were, my submission for the photo on the left would be “Poor Dad. Wait until he sees the bill for this shindig. Fortunately, when he does, I’ll be lying on a beach in Cancun, sipping a margarita and deciding which sexy lingerie to wear that night.”

Why Am I Asking?

I ask because, although I’m married, I didn’t have a traditional wedding, so I’ve never walked down an aisle. My husband and I went to beautiful Savannah, GA for three days and got married by a blind judge. No aisle. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. No MOB, FOB, MOG or FOG. No reception. No first dance.  Literally, no one saw us get married. And I have absolutely no regrets.

So I’m curious about what brides are thinking as they walk down the aisle. Are they wondering if they’re marrying the right guy?  Are they thinking about the wedding night? Are they taking a quick audit to make sure they didn’t forget anything? Are they wishing they hadn’t bought those trendy—but too tight—bridal shoes? Are they hoping crazy Aunt Phyllis can stay sober for just one night? Are they dying to get the ceremony over with so they can scarf down food at the reception, because they haven’t eaten in days to make sure they fit into their elegant wedding gown? Or are they simply in a post-wedding planning daze, too tired to think of anything at all?

Looking for Your Answers!

I’m sure it’s different for every bride, and I’d love to know what you were thinking as you took those final steps as a single woman. I’d be asking grooms what they were thinking as they watched their brides walk toward them, but I suspect very few men subscribe to this blog. So brides, please add a comment and let me know what was on your mind during the most exciting 30-second walk of your life! If I get several responses, I’ll reveal them in a future post. (I promise not to use last names!) Once again, I’ll ask, “What were you thinking?” And I mean that in the nicest way possible!

 Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt to Wed

Cute, huh? She did a Facebook search for people with her name, and he popped up. They started corresponding. Then they started dating. Then they fell in love and got engaged—and the world is talking.

I’m not sure they’ve thought about what life will be like after they’re married.

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When the phone rings, who’s it for?

“May I please speak to Kelly Hildebrandt?”

“This is he.”

“I’m calling from Women’s Care Hospital. It’s time for you to come in for your annual mammogram.”

When the mail comes, who’s it for?

“Hey, Kelly! This jury duty notice is for you.”

“No, it’s for you.”

“No, it’s for you.”

When their son is born…

Kelly and Kelly Hildebrandt announce the birth of their son, Kelly Hildebrandt, Jr.

They’ve already had a taste of some issues they’ll face. A trip on a cruise ship almost got canceled when the travel agent deleted one ticket from the system, thinking someone had plugged in the same information twice.

Sounds like a barrel of laughs to me!

Summer in Canada is an ideal time and place for an outdoor wedding, and our Bride On The Brink for mid-July is making the most of it, with a ceremony and reception in her backyard, surrounded by sunflowers and serving “beef on a spit and salads.” Sounds like a wonderful wedding plan to me! Here’s Joan’s story…

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NAME:  Joan Watson

LOCATION:  Kemptville, Ontario (CA)

DATE:  August 22 

THEME:  Just Come As You Are

COLORS:  TBD

GUESTS:  About 150

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Q.  When did you start planning, and what’s the most important thing on your mind right now?

A.  We started planning around January 2009; getting our yard in shape with flowers.

Q.  How’s your anxiety level these days?

A.  If I start thinking about what has to be done, I get stressed, so I only think about what is at hand.

Q.  Are you dealing with anything unusual?

A.  My girlfriend (maid of honor) is getting married two weeks before me, and I am also her maid of honor, so we’re trying to help each other out, but also plan our own. (That’s got to be nerve-wracking! Ed.) Plus, I guess the most stressful part is that my divorce is not final, so I am waiting on that. (Wow! Hang in there, Joan! Ed.)

Q.  I have to ask—Is there anything you’d do differently if you had the chance?

A.  I would have started my gardens last year, so they’d just have to have touch-ups this year, and I would have seen how they looked.

Q.  What’s been the most rewarding part of your planning process?

A.  The support from my family and his family.

Q.  Did the economy have an impact on your wedding plans?

A.  We were supposed to get married last year, but I couldn’t afford the divorce, so we thought we’d wait a year. We can’t afford a wedding planner…so this year we are keeping it small and very casual.  The invitations will be photocopied and, we will probably deliver a lot by hand. We have had to cut out some people as we cannot invite everyone.

Q.  Last minute details?

A.  I still have to send out invitations, get my dress fitted, rings, and finish the garden. (NOTE: We received Joan’s questionnaire some time ago, so we’re hopeful the invitations have been sent, the dress fits, the divorce is final and the garden is in glorious, full bloom! Ed.)

Q.  What have you learned from this experience that you can pass along to other brides?

A.  I think having been through it before helps. It’s a lot of work, [and it's easy to] get caught up in the moment. Don’t let it get out of hand. It’s over before you know it, and you can be left with a large bill at the end. Keep it simple. You can have elegance without the cost. Shop around. We just tell ourselves that the most important thing is that we get married and have a party with our family and friends.

Watch for the next edition of Brides On the Brink…30 Days and Counting! It’s for brides, it’s about brides, and most importantly, it’s by Brides On the Brink who are one month away from walking down the aisle.

Become One of our Brides On The Brink!

If you’re about one, two or three months from tying the knot and would like to be a featured bride, please click here to e-mail your contact information and wedding date. I’ll send you the questionnaire to fill out and return. For passing on your wedding wisdom, featured brides will receive a $25 gift certificate* for MyWeddingFavors.com, where you’ll find fabulous wedding favors, wedding accessories, bridesmaids’ gifts and so much more!

* For shipping only within the US and Canada.

Be honest, girls! What gets our adrenalin flowing? Shoe shopping! What do we need most to match an outfit? Shoes! What sends our ego over the moon when a guy compliments them? Shoes! What makes us stand tall and sexy? Shoes!

So it makes perfect sense to be “shoes-y” with bridal shower favors, because we love shoes any way we can get them. So I’ve picked my three choices for fun, practical bridal shower favors that will walk away with lots of compliments at your event!

 GREAT FOR OPENERS!

It’s classy, it’s cute, it’s creatively gift-boxed, and it’s a shoe—a shoe that opens bottles. How much fun would it be to pull out this handy, high-heeled bottle opener to open bottled drinks at your next beach party or backyard bash? “It’s A Shoe Thing!” is a shiny, chrome shoe, too small for your foot—but big enough to make an amazing impression at the shower.

FOR FASHIONISTAS WHO FLY HIGH!

I’m crazy about the “First-Class Fashionista” Luggage Tag, because it says something exciting about you everywhere you go. But you’d better have a suitcase filled with super-hot shoes, because those guys in customs, airport security and at the hotel will be expecting to see some fancy footwear!

THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE…

and places it perfectly on a plate! The “Slice of Style” Stainless-Steel, High-Heel Cake Server, like the other two shoe-shaped favors, is also ideal for a girls’-night-out gift. I don’t know about you, but I love cake almost as much as I love shoes, and this sassy cake server can dress up any party table that has a cake waiting to be sliced. Your shower guests will eat it up!

I leave you with sage advice: “Shoes” Wisely

 Our first Bride On The Brink for July will set sail August 22 for a Caribbean cruise with her groom-to-be, a few wedding guests—and it’s also her groom’s family reunion! Talk about a family affair!

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NAME:  Sunny Smith

LOCATION:  Carnival Glory

DATE:  August 22 

THEME:  “Our Ship Has Come In”

COLORS:  Ocean Blue

GUESTS:  About 20

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Q. When did you start your wedding planning?

A. I became engaged in March 2008. We had already planned since last March to go on a cruise for my fiance’s family reunion in August 2009. I wasn’t sure when I was going to set a wedding date, what type of wedding I wanted to have, and whether it would be in Mississippi, where I’ve lived for the past 12 years, or New York, where my sisters and I grew up, or North Carolina, where my parents live. I actually started planning in May 2009. (Wow! Talk about waiting until the last minute! S) Once we decided the cruise would be a great place to have the wedding, it was a matter of [making arrangements.] We’ll set sail for a seven-day Western Caribbean cruise to Cozumel, Costa Maya, Belize and the Bahamas.

Q. So what’s the most important thing on your mind right now?

A. Right now, I’m just hoping we have good weather and no hurricane. Oh, and I hope the H1N1 flu doesn’t strike.

Q. What’s been the most stressful or difficult part of preparing for your wedding.

A. I like to think I’m “too blessed to be stressed.” Fortunately, the stress is minimal since the [cruise line] is taking care of all the details. The most difficult part was trying to coordinate with my fiance’s family members who had been booked on the cruise for months, since it’s their family reunion. I’ve had to work with the airlines to rearrange [our] flights, which we booked in January. Luckily, I got a sympathetic airline representative in customer service who was happy to help.

Q. Would you have done anything differently?

A. I would have booked [the cruise] earlier.

Q. What’s been the best part of your wedding planning?

A. My fiance is a stickler for being on time and setting deadlines. And he’s great with finances. With that in mind, I knew I had to set a budget and stick to it to keep the harmony. I’m happy that my fiance was okay with having a wedding during his family’s cruise.

Q. You really waited until the last minute to start your wedding planning. Do you have any last-minute details to take care of?

A. My sisters and I are still shopping for bridesmaids dresses. I ordered my own cute cake topper…and plan to order some gifts for the wedding party, like personalized candle keepsakes and mints. I’ll also want to order personalized napkins and a few other favors.

Q. How has the current economy affected your wedding plans?

A. The economy has had an impact on my wedding in a number of ways. This is the second wedding for both of us. We both lost our spouses several years ago to cancer. As far as the wedding, neither one of us was trying to recreate our first wedding experience. So we’ve saved a lot of money by not having a traditional wedding with dozens of guests. Originally, I wanted to go to Hawaii for my honeymoon. But, I’m happy we get to turn a family cruise into our honeymoon. By deciding to have a shipboard wedding, we’ve been able to pay cash for everything in advance and won’t have any credit-card debt when we come back from our honeymoon. I’ll still have a few more bells and whistles, like a limo to take us to our ship. My parents and 13 of my fiance’s family members will go on the cruise, but because of the tough economic times, my sisters and aunt will not be able to come on the cruise. But I’m happy they will be part of the wedding ceremony and reception. I still plan to have an informal celebration/reception when we return for other friends and family who weren’t able to attend. I am having a knock-off designer wedding dress made for under $300, but I won’t know if I’ve made a good choice or not until I receive it. (I’ve secretly fantasized that, as a back-up plan, first-lady Michelle Obama will let me borrow her inauguration gown.)

Q. Any words of wedding-planning wisdom for your best friend?

A. I would tell my friend that, at the end of the day, it’s YOUR WEDDING. If you can afford to have the wedding of your dreams, go for it. If money is a concern, there are always less-expensive options to make your wedding a memorable one without breaking the bank.

Watch for the next edition of Brides On the Brink…30 Days and Counting! It’s for brides, it’s about brides, and most importantly, it’s by Brides On the Brink who are one month away from walking down the aisle.

Become One of our Brides On The Brink!

If you’re about one, two or three months from tying the knot and would like to be a featured bride, please click here to e-mail your contact information and wedding date. I’ll send you the questionnaire to fill out and return. For passing on your wedding wisdom, featured brides will receive a $25 gift certificate* for MyWeddingFavors.com, where you’ll find fabulous wedding favors, wedding accessories, bridesmaids’ gifts and so much more!

* For shipping only within the US and Canada.

The My Wedding Favors blog is hoping to be a finalist for the Wedding Channel.com Bridal Blog Award, and like all the other bridal bloggers, we’d love to win! Of course, we can’t do it without your help. Please click on the box at the left and nominate us. The more nominations, the better! We think we’re already winners, because we get to bring you great series like “Brides on the Brink: 30 Days and Counting,” along with the very best in tips, trends and weird wedding stories whenever we find them (brides-to-be need a laugh from time to time during the wedding-planning process!) But it’s always nice to be recognized! When we become a finalist, we’ll let you know, so you can vote for us. Meanwhile, we’d really appreciate your nomination! Thanks!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa     aaaaaFor the brides,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa       aaaaaSusan and Karen